Title: Vaulting Air Bomb Was a Hate Crime (Against Me Personally)

Dear Xero devs,

First of all, how dare you.

I woke up this morning ready to launch myself into chaos, glory, and Air Bomb-fueled aerial nonsense. I brushed my teeth, I stretched my fingers, I kissed my Air Bomb keybind lovingly like I always do.

And then I saw the patch notes.

“Air Bomb – vaulted.”

Vaulted??
Vaulted WHERE?
Did it go on vacation? Is it backpacking through Europe? Did it need a “mental health break” from carrying the ENTIRE GAME?

I dropped to my knees like a 2007 movie protagonist in the rain. There was no rain. I made my own with tears.

Without Air Bomb, I am nothing. A husk. A lost soul. I loaded into a match and accidentally tried to throw one out of muscle memory, but all that came out was sadness and shame.

You don’t understand. Air Bomb wasn’t a weapon. It was my emotional support detonation. My chaotic bestie. My mid-air therapy session. My “I don’t have a plan but I do have a bomb” solution to every problem.

Now? I just run around with a regular weapon like some balanced, respectable player. Disgusting.

I tried using a different item, and it worked. Do you know how wrong that felt? I hit something on purpose. No explosions. No mayhem. I hated every second of it.

Anyway, please bring it back. I’m not saying I’ll riot if you don’t, but I am saying I’ve already printed flyers for the protest and taught my dog to hold a picket sign.

Air Bomb forever.